What My Mother Taught Me

Read this the other day. Really funny stuff.

1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...
"Just wait until you father gets home!"

2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING...
"You are going to get it when we get home!"

3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE...
"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you...Don't talk back to me!"

4. My Mother taught me LOGIC...
"If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me."

5. My Mother taught me MEDICINE...
"If you don't stop making funny faces, it's going to freeze that way."

6. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD...
"If you don't pass your spelling tet, you'll never get a good job."

7. My Mother taught me about ESP...
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold."

8. My Mother taught me HUMOUR...
"When the lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

9. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AND ADULT...
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

10. My Mother taught me about SEX...
"How do you think you got here? Stork, izit?"

11. My Mother taught me about GENETICS...
"You're just like your father."

12. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS...
"Where do you think you were born? In a zoo, izit?"

13. My Mother taught me about JUSTICE...
"You just wait when you have kids. I hope they turn out just like you...then you'll see what it's like."

Seriously, I love my parents. This is just a bit of laugh here...I hope I don't get disinherited or something...