A Short Explanation of what A Brain Is For

Class.

That thing in your head? It's called a brain. Though it may look gory, with blood and everything (if you're too uncomfortable, your textbooks will have the drawings of a brain in colours red, blue, green and Barney purple...tsk, kids!), it's actually quite useful, sometimes.

1-To eat. Watch the old videos in Faces of Death where people sit around a square table (question: how does one sit AROUND a square table?) eating the brain of a still-living monkey. Or otak-otak. That would be nice too...

2-Put in your room and act like you're in an episode of CSI. "Well, what do we have here? Hm. A brain on a floor. And there are footsteps on the floor entering the room. Wait, those are my footsteps..." Puts on sunglasses. Then take them off. Then put them on again. Then walk out of the house. Still with those glasses on. At 8.30pm.

3-Finally, it's basically the size of two average human fists put together, the ideal size for thinking purposes. Unless you're an idiot, which includes (but excludes the medically-certified idiot, pity them) racist, bigots, chauvinists, and religious fanatics (that's like 83% of the world population. Made it up like Barney Stinson), then the size shrinks to something smaller than a kumquat seed. Hmm...kumquat. What a funny word...