Oh dear. Seems I haven't updated this blog as often as I had hoped. A bit busy with thesis and the pursuit of academic article publication, but still...
While I was writing my thesis chapter, my mind wanders and wanders, and suddenly it stops at one memory of myself from the past and latches on. Strange how the minds does that, eventually leading me to write this entry at 3 in the morning.
So I spent some time reminiscing about the past. My past during my undergraduate years, specifically.
I really should start writing about my university life. Call it 'My Years in University: Ramblings of an Undergraduate' or whatever. Separate them into personal stories, pretentious pseudo-philosophical musings, university activities, romance (or the lack of it), trips. I should write them for archival keepsake when I'm older. They could label it [[SP????, Ruzaini Fikri Papers, entry, date of entry]]. Of course, I should be famous or important enough for my materials to be deemed significant to warrant entry into the National Archives-
...but I'm getting way off tangent.
No specifics here, but the memories left me smiling, and laughing, and frowning, and fuming, and laughing nervously in that 'in-hindsight-that-was-kinda-funny' way, and even red with embarrassment. Sometimes I feel that should I be mysteriously bestowed or loaned a time-travel ability, I would go back in time and probably punch myself in the face (I'm talking about you, me from 2010). I've had good and bad experiences, some of the bad ones, I admit, was of my own doing.
Do I have regrets? Of course I do. I'm not one of those people who say they have none because 'it made me the person I am today' or some other bull. Do I wish I could go back in time and change some of my life choices or decisions? Sure, I've given it some thought.
But I know that 'one of those people' has a point. I am who I am today because of my past. I like to think those undergraduate years taught me something, and made me a better person today than I was then.
I turned out fine. I like me. You know what? If I do have time-travelling abilities, I'd go meet 2010 Me and tell him 'future's not that bad. Sure, the Middle East's still burning and American policemen are closing down lemonade stands, but you/me, we're fine. Totally fine.'
Then I'd go further back in time and try to kill Hitler, but that never actually works.
All the dumbasses who claim that they don't have regrets for whatever reason, they are lying and denying that small inner voice at the back of their head that says otherwise.
ReplyDeleteI like you too, Ruzaini Fikri! I have always enjoyed our discourse and how you always gave me something new to think.
*hugs*
Why thank you. It's therapeutic to rant about the past once in a while. I highly recommend it.
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