A good friend of mine, Kee Aun, posted on Facebook early this morning (15th November 2009) a simple question. 'Will my faith last?'
I'm going to ask myself the same question, because lately, my faith has been challenged in more ways than one.
One, my faith in my life principles. I have always been taught the basics of good life, the principles that one man has to live by to be called good. I have tried to follow them in all their outlined incarnations (Islamic ethics, Christian morality, the Golden Rule, Karma, the code of chivalry, Bushido) as I believed something positive will come out of it. My own life principles are outlined as thus:
1-Four Deeds to offer the World (Sincerity, Courtesy, Ability and Commitment)
2-Six Factors that decide my actions (Family, Love, Knowledge, Ability, Religion, and Worldly gains)
But it's not enough, it seems, to guarantee a good and fair life. More often than not, I have seen and read how good people suffer from following the rules, and how bad people, because of money or influence, escape justice. Some people say 'life isn't fair.' But why shouldn't it be fair?
As for myself, I have experienced, in the past two weeks, people questioning my sincerity in doing anything. That is indeed troublesome. I have always offered people my sincerity in a most obvious manner. I don't care if one questions my motives, or principles, or political leanings, or methods...but to question my sincerity?
Two, my faith in my own self. I have always believed that if I have abilities and limits. I get it. One can only do so much, even when he has given his best into doing anything. But I find that in university, this is not enough. I find myself pushed to the limit about my limits. What are my social abilities? My intellectual capabilities? What can I offer? It didn't bother me before, but now, the phrase 'there's always someone better than you out there' annoy me so.
Three, my faith in romantic love. I'm not saying I don't believe in romantic love. I'm not saying that it doesn't exist. I'm saying that I'm starting to doubt whether I get to have it, or experience it.
I find myself having feelings for a good friend. And this is not the first time I experienced it. I had something similar in my first year (which ended in heartbreak and non-reciprocation). Judging from that experience, it's going to happen again. And this aspect is my greatest doubt. In other cases, my doubt always arises after I believed. In romantic love, doubt comes first, and I still have no faith that it will happen to me the way I want it (I admit, I'm using a selfish term 'want').
And the only thing I have left is my faith in my Creator, and even then, I have doubts about him. Everyday. The only good thing here is that in this case, I believe that doubting Allah actually reaffirms my faith in Him.
And family. The only rock in the stormy sea, my family has always been my source of faith. That the world is always good
I wish this works for the other aspects as well.
I'm going to ask myself the same question, because lately, my faith has been challenged in more ways than one.
One, my faith in my life principles. I have always been taught the basics of good life, the principles that one man has to live by to be called good. I have tried to follow them in all their outlined incarnations (Islamic ethics, Christian morality, the Golden Rule, Karma, the code of chivalry, Bushido) as I believed something positive will come out of it. My own life principles are outlined as thus:
1-Four Deeds to offer the World (Sincerity, Courtesy, Ability and Commitment)
2-Six Factors that decide my actions (Family, Love, Knowledge, Ability, Religion, and Worldly gains)
But it's not enough, it seems, to guarantee a good and fair life. More often than not, I have seen and read how good people suffer from following the rules, and how bad people, because of money or influence, escape justice. Some people say 'life isn't fair.' But why shouldn't it be fair?
As for myself, I have experienced, in the past two weeks, people questioning my sincerity in doing anything. That is indeed troublesome. I have always offered people my sincerity in a most obvious manner. I don't care if one questions my motives, or principles, or political leanings, or methods...but to question my sincerity?
Two, my faith in my own self. I have always believed that if I have abilities and limits. I get it. One can only do so much, even when he has given his best into doing anything. But I find that in university, this is not enough. I find myself pushed to the limit about my limits. What are my social abilities? My intellectual capabilities? What can I offer? It didn't bother me before, but now, the phrase 'there's always someone better than you out there' annoy me so.
Three, my faith in romantic love. I'm not saying I don't believe in romantic love. I'm not saying that it doesn't exist. I'm saying that I'm starting to doubt whether I get to have it, or experience it.
I find myself having feelings for a good friend. And this is not the first time I experienced it. I had something similar in my first year (which ended in heartbreak and non-reciprocation). Judging from that experience, it's going to happen again. And this aspect is my greatest doubt. In other cases, my doubt always arises after I believed. In romantic love, doubt comes first, and I still have no faith that it will happen to me the way I want it (I admit, I'm using a selfish term 'want').
And the only thing I have left is my faith in my Creator, and even then, I have doubts about him. Everyday. The only good thing here is that in this case, I believe that doubting Allah actually reaffirms my faith in Him.
And family. The only rock in the stormy sea, my family has always been my source of faith. That the world is always good
I wish this works for the other aspects as well.
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